Top Ten Reasons (and more) Why I Want Star Trek's© Medical Beds In My Unit!
#10. The patient never has to be helped into or out of bed, nor even undressed.
#9. The patient doesn't have or need any I.V. lines, tubes, or monitor cables.
#8. The patient doesn't need a footstool, to be pulled up in bed, or even have a siderail.
#7. The patient never needs to be fed, and never needs to be bathed.
#6. The patient never has an excessive number of visitors.
#5. The patient never vomits, urinates, defecates, or expectorates.
#4. The patient will get up cured at the end of 46 minutes, unless killed off in the first five minutes of the show to entice you into watching the remainder of the program. He will not need a wheelchair for discharge.
#3. The patient rarely needs translator services arranged.
#2. The patient never contradicts or denies to the doctor what I just reported the patient had said or done.
#1 The patient does not have a callbell, does not call out "NURSE, !!!!", or demand that his unreasonable request be done because he was a physician in his old country.
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